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by dontfeedthewolfy



Series: Derek Hale Character Study [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Derek Character Study, Derek Hale Can't Have Nice Things, Derek Hale Character Study, Derek Has Feelings, Derek Has a Bad Day, Derek Needs a Hug, Gen, POV Second Person, Sad Derek Hale, Season 1, derek's return to beacon hills, loss of his family, set around episode 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4872790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontfeedthewolfy/pseuds/dontfeedthewolfy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Derek Hale character study series. In after math of Peter's first rampage, Derek has buried Laura and spends the night in what was once the beautiful Hale House.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there! I’m Isaac. You are about to read one of the fan based works in my collection. I am a LGBTQA+ writer. Generally I choose to ignore canon and acquire representation. I try to do this in the most natural means possible. Perhaps this isn’t as prevalent in the fanfic community but queer representation is minimal. So as a member of this community and an aspiring novelist I want to write from these character perspectives, and give my readers the chance to see aspects of them selves in there favorite fandoms (and eventually within my own original worlds), or at least give a different voice than what is usually heard. I like the idea of telling stories about queer characters in which their gender identity or sexuality is not the driving force of the story. They are characters that happen to be queer not characters that their plot centers around them being queer.
> 
> As always I enjoy your feed back greatly and thank you for reading the things that seem to keep pouring out of my head. If you enjoy this you can follow me on tumblr ( www.queerrainbowwarrior.tumblr.com ) and twitter( @Qrainbowwarrior ) for updates regarding up coming works, both fanfic and original (as well as my ongoing personal dribble).
> 
> This is a series of character studies that will be told in second person. While I will never commit to being exclusively canon these are my interpretations of easily deducted canon events, ie things that did happen or with in the canon context could have happened example the events of the Hale fire per say. That being said, I am a Sterek shipper and these are being told from the perspective of internalized mutual crushing (and if you must ask why….. Because fuck you! That’s why jk but seriously they are my babies and I honestly give zero fucks about keeping this non bias). Not to say I’m putting Sterek in every memory but the series of studies will not be void of Sterek (haha void…. Too soon?)

You stand right in the center of the burned out hull of everything you once held so dear. The almost acidic burn of smoke and ash coats your throat. Yet you refuse to leave. Dirty still covering your hands and the faint bite of wolf’s bane burn healing slowly, you flop on to the dust covered remains of a mattress. Laura’s old bedroom, she never let you in here when you were children. It seems fitting to collapse into a place that was once hers. Nothing that she was clings to the room, but even in her death her smell holds to your skin. 

Pinching you eyes tight closed you would swear you can hear her voice carried on the wind. You do believe in things that can’t be seen, that’s just the world you live in. Still you aren’t foolish enough not to see that for just that it is. Wishful thinking. She is gone, and you are alone. More painfully alone that you even have been. The reality of it screams inside your head. 

A growing warmth pours over your face. The world behind your closed eyes is tie dyed in bright yellow and orange, mirroring the sun rise you are sure in on the other side. Werewolf strength or not, it took all night to give you sister the burial she deserved. You internally scoff at the notion. What she really deserved was not to be ripped in half as a part of some war you had both run across the country to get away from. 

It feels as though weight have been tied to each of you limps. Every second of the foreseeable future is laying on this broken bed in this burned house that use to be home. What reason do you have to move, to get up, to be anything other than a hemp of meat waiting to rot away? Sure you want revenge but even the anger wrapped around that feels nothing but exhausting. 

Even as you try to cease from existing your wolf senses do not fade in whole. You know against all odds YOU are still alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thanks for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it. I know at the very start of this all I introduced myself but I failed to mention that I am a gay trans man. That is a big reason why I feel so compelled to share queer stories with you all. I would like to take a moment to ask for your help. As of now, I am working towards my top surgury. Ig you feel you would like to donate the link is http://www.gofundme.com/d3b6p4
> 
> Please don't feel like you have to. If you would like to help in another way spread the word and my stories (or even just reach out to me on one of my social media links found and that beginning of the fic) and hey, thanks!


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